The last week of 2012 is the perfect time for people to make changes for the upcoming year. Most will make resolutions that involve dieting and exercise. At least, that is true for the Winners & Losers brain trust, but the boys in the IN basement have come up with a few resolutions for our favorite politicos.
Rick Scott, Florida Governor
I will be a better Rick Perry than Rick Perry.
I will not reveal where any of my Horcruxes are.
Ashton Hayward, Mayor of Pensacola
I will appoint no more advisory committees for the next 90 days.
Grover Robinson, Escambia County Commissioner
I will teach myself Morse code, just in case someone takes away my cell phone.
P.C. Wu, Pensacola Council President
I will speak softly but carry a big stick.
Malcolm Thomas, Escambia Superintendent of Schools
I will ask for more input from more people.
I will incorporate the word ‘meow’ into every speech. “Meow, I love my job.”
Gene Valentino, Chairman, Escambia County Commission
I will try to figure out why I really need five cell phones and four email addresses.
Bill Reynolds, City Administrator, City of Pensacola
I will learn to juggle so by the end of the year I might get a job in a real circus.
David Morgan, Escambia County Sheriff
I will add no more medals, but no promises about tattoos.
I will write a letter complimenting the county administrator, but not the interim.
Buck Lee, Santa Rosa Island Authority Manager
I will use more sunscreen.
John Asmar, Chief of Staff, City of Pensacola
I will take more bubble baths.
I will make a different stranger smile every day.
Charlie Crist, Democratic candidate for Florida Governor
I will be a Democrat for the rest of my life… if I win in 2014.
Jeff Bergosh, Escambia School Board chairman
I will visit the Dixon School of the Arts once.
Nate Monroe, Pensacola News Journal government reporter
I vow to never be called the “good reporter” ever again by a politician.
Greg Evers, State Senator
I will take the National Rifle Association off my speed dial.
Kim Kimbrough, former Downtown Improvement Board executive director
I will give thanks daily that I’m the CEO of the Independence Chamber of Commerce.