Just because you waited until Halloween to actually think about Halloween doesn’t mean you have to have a crappy costume. You just need to get creative and utilize what’s already in your closet (and maybe your mom or grandma’s closet too). And don’t worry—these ideas don’t require that you have any Martha Stewart style crafting skills. We don’t expect you to sew or knit or paper mache or learn to do any of those things in a day. Ain’t nobody got time for that. We are talking super easy, super low budget and mostly super cheesy costumes. So, while you might not win any $1,000 contests sporting one of these ideas, you’ll at least avoid hearing “Why didn’t you dress up?” all night. We all know that gets old—fast.
Test Political IQs
It doesn’t have to be a presidential election year for political costumes to be topical—trust us. From the government shutdown to the debt ceiling debate to “dangerous” alter egos of disgraced NYC mayoral candidates, there’s plenty of costume fodder for you to pick from this October.
It’s hard to say “I’m the man who shut down the government” without actually saying it. But we think a nice tie, a copy of “Green Eggs and Ham” and maybe a three corner colonial hat if you can get your hands on one should do the trick. Or if you want to mix it up, try mixing Cruz with Cruise—Ted with Tom that is. We’re thinking business on top and “Risky Business” on the bottom. Ray-Bans and, again, the colonial hat would be perfect finishing touches.
Pink sneakers, a power suit and maybe some glasses and you’re good to go. Just don’t forget to talk ALL night so everyone knows you’re the filibustering queen.
Obama-Care Website Glitch
We assume it won’t be “fixed” anytime soon, so this should be a pretty easy and recognizable costume. Simply draw an error message on a t-shirt with a fabric marker. Try “Heath Insurance Marketplace: Please Wait” or “Please Call 1-855-Plans-4-You While We Fix Online Glitches” or just “Try Again” with that exclamation point inside a triangle thing. And maybe an Obama logo—just in case you want to make it extra easy for people to get.
Anthony Weiner/Carlos Danger
The Weiner bit is easy—you just need a suit or the courage to walk around in tight grey underwear and a cell phone in hand (for sexting of course). To bring his alter ego Carlos Danger into the mix, try adding a creepy mustache and making your phone play “Danger (Been So Long)” by Mystikal every time you tell people who you are just like Jon Oliver did on The Daily Show all summer.
Everyone loves a good play on words, right? So why not try it out in costume form. As long as you’re willing to explain yourself over and over again and hear “Oh, now I get it…” all night, one of these costumes might just be for you.
Fork in the Road
Dress in all black, make “lane lines” out of white washi or duct tape and fasten a plastic fork somewhere prominent.
For this one you’ll need to dress in all orange or at least an orange shirt. Then just print out a pi symbol and tape it on.
Ginger Bread Man
Are you a ginger? Or do you have a ginger wig? Then you’re halfway there for this one. All you need is some bread. You can attach it to a string and wear it like a necklace or simply carry it around. Just don’t eat it all too early into the night or your costume will totally suck.
Cat out of the Bag
Get yourself some cat ears and then buy some beer at Apple Market and when they say “paper or plastic” say “paper” and you’re good to go.
Make It Pop
Pop culture is always a costume idea gold mine. Seriously, can you even imagine Halloween without Britney costumes? Yeah, neither can we. Here are some of our favorite of-the-moment poppy ideas.
Sure, there are going to be a lot foam fingers and wrecking balls floating around this year. But we bet not many people will think to be one of Miley’s most defining (and kind of gross) traits—that terrible tongue out face she makes all the time. We also happen to think “Miley Face” is much, much easier to pull off than those other ideas. Just wear all pink and ruin pictures all night. This could be a great group costume too—the more tongues wagging the better.
50 Shades of Grey
You don’t have to have read the book to pull off this idea–but if you’re being honest, you probably have anyway. Hit up Home Depot (or really any store that sells lots of paint) and take all the grey swatches you can without getting caught. Then just attach them to your shirt with safety pins, staples or hot glue.
Baby on Board
Celebrity couples and their babies (or baby bumps) always make for easy costumes. All you need is a partner, a baby doll of some kind and the right outfit. This year you could go royal and regal and channel Kate, William and Prince George. Or the exact opposite and be Kanye, Kim and baby North West. The later is probably easier for most people, but seeing a doll in a dressing gown a la George at his christening on the dance floor at Seville Quarter would be pretty great.
“Breaking Bad” might be over, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still show your love for the recently departed show in costume form. And no, you don’t need a hazmat suit to do it. Just think blue, blue, blue and leave the meth part to the imagination. Blue dress or top, blue eye make-up and all the blue costume jewelry you can pile on. But if you can get the suit, by all means wear that instead.