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Wednesday December 17th 2014

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News of the Weird 7/24/14

by Chuck Shepherd

Modern Warfare The leader of the devout Sunni jihadist group Islamic State, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, making a rare, solemn appearance in July, wore a flashy silver wristwatch that various video analysts described as either a Rolex or an Omega Seafarer or a feature-laden Saudi Arabian-made timepiece that sells for only about $560. A week earlier, a Syrian anti-government rebel leader was shown in a video exhorting his troops from notes he had made in his “Hello Kitty” notebook. And a week after that, a shopkeeper in North Waziristan, lamenting the loss of business when local Taliban fighters abruptly left the area, told a BBC reporter that the jihadists obsessively bought Dove soap, Head & Shoulders shampoo, white underwear (“briefs or Y-fronts”), and “Secret Love” and “Blue Lady” perfumes.

The Continuing Crisis Clinton Tucker, who is black, sued Benjamin Moore paints in Essex County, New Jersey, in June for wrongful firing—after, he said, he had tolerated years of workplace racial insults. In fact, Tucker said the company had introduced two new paint shades shortly after he was hired in 2011— “Tucker Chocolate” and “Clinton Brown,” provoking on-the-job ridicule.

•The African hippopotamus is not found in South America—except for the estimated 50-some that, confusingly to natives, roam the Colombian countryside between Bogota and Medellin. The animals are the progeny of the four smuggled in 30 years ago by cocaine king Pablo Escobar, who generously established a grand, exotic zoo for his neighbors’ enjoyment after his drug business took off (and before he was gunned down in 1993). However, as BBC News reported in June, hippo meat is inedible, and without their African natural enemies, they breed with astonishing prolificness—thus creating a “time bomb” for Colombia.

Wait—What? Kimberly Williams, 46, was convicted in April in Will County, Illinois, of beating dominatrix Theresa Washington with a baseball bat. Williams conceded to the judge that she had hired Washington, but only because she wanted a “slave” to take pictures of her naked while she did housework. Instead, she said, Washington became aggressive, declared herself a “master” and dragged Williams around by the hair. Furthermore, according to Williams, Washington’s transformation happened abruptly after a phone call Washington made to “someone she met on the dating site Christian Mingle.”

First-World Problems Update: U.S. obesity continues to grow—for pets as well as people—and exercise innovations for humans seem to trickle down to dogs. A July Associated Press report noted that fat Labradors and poodles now have Pilates (“pawlates”) and yoga (“doga”) and even play “Barko Polo” in the pool, while Morris Animal Inn offers five-day fitness camps for dogs ($249) in Morristown, New Jersey. (More cats than dogs are overweight, but getting cats to the gym is perhaps beyond human capability.)
The New Normal Since high-rise residents value their privacy, Lisa Pleiss of Seattle said she was frightened on June 22 when she saw a drone hovering outside her 26th-floor window: “You don’t expect to be walking around indecent in your apartment and then have this thing potentially recording you.” According to police, the drone was legal—helping a developer photograph downtown Seattlee—but would not have been if the camera had been pointed at Pleiss’ window. (Drones are becoming so widespread that, for instance, the University of South Florida library owns several, for student check-out on certain research projects.)