Pensacola, Florida
Monday September 16th 2019


News of the Weird 8.19.10

by Chuck Shepard…
A recent surge of neo-Nazism in several countries — including, improbably, Israel, and Mongolia (where some dark-skinned natives are rabidly anti-Chinese) — has generally been denounced, but Corinna Burt credited it with rescuing her from a life of acting in pornographic videos. According to a hate-group watchdog, the Portland, Ore., woman is “the most prominent National Socialist Movement organizer in the Pacific Northwest.” In an August interview with, the white-supremacist Burt (a mother of two and a professional embalmer who is also into bodybuilding) said she terminated her porn career (as “Cori Lou,” doing mostly bondage and “torture” films) because, “If we (Caucasians) consider ourselves a master race then we have to act like a master race, not degenerates.”

Government in Action Though volunteers got the project started in May, Ventnor City, N.J., continued through the summer to seek financial donations to finish the new restrooms that provide relief for those visiting the town’s Atlantic shore. Said Commissioner Stephen Weintrob, “How would someone like to have a toilet named after themselves, or a urinal or sink?”

A Treasury Department inspector general reported in June that, out of 2.6 million applicants for federal mortgage relief, 14,000 “home buyers” wrongly received tax credits and that in fact, 1,300 of them were living in prison at the time of filing, including 241 serving life sentences. Sixty-seven of the 14,000 received tax credits for the same house, and 87 more potentially fraudulent tax-credit applications were filed by Internal Revenue Service employees.

Things That Shouldn’t Get Backlogged: (1) California requires that if a sex offender’s GPS tagging device signals that he’s in a prohibited area, parole agents must immediately respond, but that law was easier to pass than to implement. As of June, according to a San Diego Union-Tribune investigation, the state had fallen about 31,000 responses behind. (2) A July Illinois law requires that all hospital “rape kits” on victims be tested for blood and DNA (in that finding a rapist, and certainly convicting him, without such evidence is often hopelessly difficult). Until now, 80 percent of the rape kits taken in the state had sat, untested. (As TV police dramas emphasize, many rape victims are reluctant to submit to the indignity of swabbing and photographing so soon after being violated and comply only because detectives assure them of the rape kit’s importance.)

Great Art! Time magazine reported in August that among the entrants in this year’s “Detroit Hair Wars” (showcasing 34 stylists working with 300 models) were The Hummer (stylist: “Little Willie”), in which a mass of extensions is shaped to resemble the vehicle, including four large tires — with “metal” wheels and front grid added — sitting upon the styled hair of model Sharv Bailey; and Beautiful Butterfly (stylist: Niecy Hayes), featuring extensions thinned, teased and stretched into four artistic “wings” arising from the styled hair of model Taja Hiu. Both stylings appear to be at least 2 feet long, dwarfing the models’ heads, and take at least 10 hours to prepare.
Featured at London’s Royal College of Art in June was Hiromi Ozaki’s “Menstruation Machine” — a wearable contraption that enables men to experience the two primary symptoms of the “curse.” It periodically generates abdominal pain, and its reservoir permits liquid (“blood”) to be stored and released over several days’ time.

Police Report In July, Manuel “Lefty” Hernandez, 28, was charged in Springfield, Mass., with snatching a man’s wallet (which he probably did with his left hand, which is his only hand). (If he had had a weapon, police could have charged him with a felony, but it was only a misdemeanor because Hernandez was unarmed.)

Least Competent Police In March, four NYPD officers, acting on department intelligence, went to the home of Walter and Rose Martin in Brooklyn, N.Y., looking for a suspect, and broke a window as they worked their way inside. The Martins, retired and in their 80s, were clean, and a police spokesman later admitted that officers had wrongly visited or raided the Martins’ home more than 50 times since 2002 because of a stubborn computer glitch. When the software was originally installed, an operator tested it by mindlessly typing in a random address, but that happened to be the Martins’ house, and thus the visits and raids began. The Martins say they have been assured several times that the problem had been corrected, but evidently their address has wormed its way too deep into the system.

Least Competent Criminals Eugene Palmer, 40, wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun, was arrested in Brunswick, Ga., in March as he tried to rush into a SunTrust bank during business hours but became frustrated by the locked doors — in that it was a drive-thru-only branch. (2) Danny Spencer, 31, and a partner were arrested in Bridgeport, Conn., in December as they called attention to themselves by driving through the city dragging a half-ton safe they could not crack open at the Madison Auto store they had just burglarized. (3) Ethan Ayers, 18, and a partner were arrested in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, in March after an alleged mugging. Police found them easily, as their transportation that night was a relative’s van advertising in large lettering, “Big Earl’s Gold Mine,” a Des Moines strip club.