Pensacola, Florida
Friday April 26th 2019


News of the Weird 9/14/17

By the Editors at Andrews McMeel

Seniors Gone Weird Guests at Scotland’s Macdonald Loch Rannoch hotel were terrorized by Robert Fergus, 72, and his wife, Ruth, 69, in February when the Troon couple rampaged through the lobby with scissors and threatened to shoot other guests. The incident apparently began when Mrs. Fergus pounded on a hotel room door at 1:45 a.m., leading the guest within to call front desk staff, who Mrs. Fergus told her husband treated her “with hostility.” That’s when Mr. Fergus “reacted disproportionately” by running naked into the lobby with scissors, cutting communications cables and shouting that he would “slit” and “kill” onlookers. Meanwhile, Mrs. Fergus told staff she was going to “get a gun and shoot you,” according to prosecutor Michael Sweeney. Staff and guests ran out of the hotel, while Mr. and Mrs. Fergus returned to their room to pack and took off in their BMW. They were apprehended when they flagged down a police car to accuse the hotel staff of abusing them, and Mr. Fergus could not pass a breath test. At their sentencing on Sept. 1, their attorneys blamed overconsumption of alcohol for their behavior, noting that Robert Fergus “had previously been of good character.” Nonetheless, they were fined 4,100 pounds and ordered to pay 800 pounds to cover the cost of damage to the hotel.

Criminal’s Remorse An anonymous Australian tourist mailed back a small stone he lifted from the Cwmhir Abbey in Wales, a Cistercian monastery founded in 1176, in August. The thief included a note explaining his remorse: “I have been an avid follower of the Welsh kings and their history, and so I took this rock. Ever since, I have had the most awful luck as if Llewellyn (sic) himself was angry with me.” Llywelyn ap Gruffudd, the last native prince of Wales, was beheaded and buried at the abbey in 1282, and legend says his ghost haunts the abbey. The trust that manages the abbey put the returned stone and the note on display, presumably to deter future sticky-fingered visitors.

A Singular Obsession In Wenzhou City, China, an 11-year-old boy underwent surgery in August to remove 26 magnetic Buckyballs from his penis. The balls caused a blockage in the boy’s urethra, which caused bleeding and swelling. He told pediatrician Wang Yongbiao that he put the toys in his penis because he was “curious.” (Bonus: The boy was identified in news reports as “Pi Pi.”)

•An unnamed 35-year-old man in Liaoning Province in China was rushed to the hospital with intense pain and bloody urine in June, after having inserted sewing needles into his penis over the past year. It took doctors at the General Hospital of Shenyang Military Region only an hour and a half to remove 15 needles, measuring from about 2 to 4 inches long. The urologist, Dr. Cao Zhiqiang, said patients who engage in this type of behavior “are looking for excitement through unusual ways.” He suggested caution for those who “fascinate about peculiar sex.”

Ironies A Turkish homeless man who was sentenced to house arrest in June has had his sentence altered to better reflect his circumstances. Baris Alkan, 31, had been confined to a specific area, an empty spot enclosed by metal plates, near a bus station after being detained for using and selling drugs. “I don’t have a home address, so I have to stay here,” he said. “Even though I don’t have a house, I’m under house arrest.” The court subsequently lifted the house arrest order and now requires Alkan to sign in at a nearby police station once a month.

People Different From Us Emily Mueller, 33, of Ohio asked a photographer friend, Kendrah Damis, to take pictures of her pregnant with her fourth child — and covered in 20,000 bees. Mueller, who is a beekeeper, checked with her doctor before the photo session and was stung three times during the shoot. She said she associates bees with life and death: “Bees came into my life in a time that we had just suffered a miscarriage,” Mueller said. “That’s where everything fell into place for me—when honeybees entered my life.” She hopes the maternity photos will highlight the importance of bees.

Least Competent Criminals Steven Gomez-Maya, 20, handed tellers at the TD Bank North in Seymour, Connecticut, a note on Aug. 19, demanding money. He apparently failed to notice that his note was written on the back of his girlfriend’s pay stub, and when he tried to return to the bank (presumably to retrieve the note), the doors were locked. Seymour police tracked down the owner of the pay stub, and when they arrived at the girlfriend’s home, they caught Gomez-Maya as he was driving away. The hat he wore during the robbery and “a large amount of $10 bills” were found in the car, and he was charged with first-degree robbery.

The Classic Middle Name Anthony Wayne Sandusky, 26, of Mascotte, Florida, was welcomed into the home of a Groveland woman on Aug. 22 because he had nowhere else to go. She went to sleep, and when she woke up, her mother said Sandusky had closed all the blinds, locked the doors and was carrying their possessions out the back door. She found two bags of items in a nearby field, including a stamp collection valued at $250,000. When confronted by police, Sandusky said he took the items because the woman was “being mean to him.”