Pensacola, Florida
Sunday June 16th 2019


News of the Weird 10/11/18

By the Editors at Andrews McMeel

Bold Moves Three cheeky raccoons jolted a Toronto, Ontario, Canada, woman awake late on Sept. 18 when they broke into her kitchen. Jenny Serwylo heard noises coming from her kitchen and approached the critters with a broom, which scared away two out of the three. But a third wouldn’t budge, barricaded behind her toaster oven and munching on a package of English muffins. “He was like, ‘I’m eating, get out of here,’” Serwylo told the Toronto Star. She tried calling authorities but couldn’t get any help, and her contest of wills with the raccoon lasted for more than a half-hour. “I was growling at him and hissing at him,” she said. As she pointed the broom handle at the animal, it would grab the end and “yank it really hard.” Finally, having consumed all the bread in the kitchen, the raccoon calmly went out the window, which Serwylo locked behind it. Toronto Animal Services spokesperson Bruce Hawkins told the Star that such encounters are unusual, but you be the judge: The city has created a guide for residents about how to deal with raccoon intrusions.

The Passing Parade Gender reveal events, in which expectant parents creatively announce the sex of their unborn children, are taking on increasingly more ridiculous and, in some cases, dangerous proportions. To wit: Border Patrol Agent Dennis Dickey, 37, pleaded guilty on Sept. 28 to accidentally starting the April 2017 Sawmill Fire, which burned 47,000 acres in and around Madera Canyon in Arizona, prompting evacuations and closing highways, according to the Arizona Daily Star. It all started when Dickey and his pregnant wife hosted a gender reveal party at which he shot a target containing Tannerite, an explosive substance, and colored powder signifying the child’s gender. When the target exploded, it caught nearby brush on fire, and Dickey immediately reported the wildfire and admitted he had started it. Dickey will pay $220,000 in restitution, and he is expected to keep his job.

Oops Things got tense for passengers on a GoAir flight from New Delhi to Patna, India, on Sept. 22 when a first-time flyer mistook an emergency exit door for the restroom. Travel + Leisure magazine reported that fellow passengers asked the man, in his 20s, what he was doing, to which he replied that he “needed to use the washroom urgently” and returned to tugging at the door. Airport official Mohammad Sanowar Khan explained: “Pandemonium prevailed… and he was restrained… He said that the confusion happened because he had boarded a flight for the first time in his life.” The unnamed traveler was questioned at the Patna airport.

Nature Calls Neither rain, nor sleet … nor need of a bathroom break could stop a postal carrier from delivering the mail—and so much more—to a Memphis, Tennessee, resident. FOX13 reported Sept. 28 that a homeowner’s surveillance camera captured the postman looking around as he walked up the home’s front porch and urinating as he approached the mailbox. He then placed mail inside the box and continued on his rounds, leaving a trail of urine on the porch and steps. The homeowner told FOX13 he still hasn’t touched his mailbox because he is worried what could be on it. A spokesperson for the USPS said they are investigating the incident.

Inexplicable An employee at the Manassas, Virginia, Giant supermarket had a memorable day at work on Sept. 15 when he spotted Michael Dwayne Johnson, 27, in the produce aisle. As the employee watched, Metro News reported, Johnson pulled down his pants, picked up a piece of produce and rubbed it on his buttocks. Then he replaced the produce on the display and pulled his pants back up. Manassas Police charged Johnson with indecent exposure and destruction of property after the store was forced to destroy several pallets of fruit. Police did not release a motive.