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Saturday August 24th 2019

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News of the Weird 8/8/19

By the Editors at Andrews McMeel

Least Competent Criminals If you’re trying to smuggle a half-kilo of cocaine through airport security, you might want to try harder than an unnamed middle-aged man from Colombia, who was detained in late June at Barcelona-El Prat airport in Spain, according to Spanish police. The man arrived at the airport on a flight from Bogota and seemed nervous—and no wonder, what with a comically “oversized toupee” under his hat, Reuters reported. Spanish police searched him and found a bundle of cocaine, worth about $34,000, taped to his head.

Precocious Four Australian kids took running away from home to a new level on July 13 when they wrote a goodbye note and absconded with cash, fishing gear and an SUV belonging to one of their parents. The three boys and one girl, aged 10 to 14, left Rockhampton in Queensland and headed south to Grafton, a trip of more than 600 miles. Along the way, they twice bought gas without paying and survived a short police chase in New South Wales, which was terminated by the highway patrol “due to age of the driver and road conditions,” Acting Police Inspector Darren Williams told Fox News. Around 10:30 p.m. on July 14, police finally caught up with the kids, who locked the doors and refused to exit the car. An officer broke a window with a baton to gain entry. The young thieves will be charged, but they couldn’t be questioned until their parents showed up.

Techno-Weird The New York Post reported on July 14 that more than 4,000 Swedes have willingly had microchips implanted in their hands to replace credit cards and cash. The chips also help people monitor their health and can be programmed to allow access into buildings. Jowan Osterlund, a former body piercer who pioneered the chips, says the technology is safe. But British scientist Ben Libberton, based in Sweden, said he worries that people aren’t considering the potential dangers, including the unwitting dissemination of data about a person. “Do I get a letter from my insurance company saying premiums are going up before I know I’m ill?” he wondered.

Bright Idea Rapper, sports agent and self-proclaimed “Mr. Alabama” Kelvin James Dark, 37, of Talladega, Alabama, was arrested in Atlanta, Georgia, on July 10 after allegedly throwing multiple kilograms of suspected methamphetamine off a high-rise balcony onto a street below. In a press release titled “It’s Raining Meth,” the Georgia Bureau of Investigation said its agents were searching the property as part of a smuggling investigation when the drugs went overboard. Agents were able to recover the drugs, valued at an estimated $250,000, and also found two semi-automatic rifles, a handgun, marijuana valued at $60,000 and a “substantial” amount of cash, AL.com reported. Dark and 33-year-old Tiffany Peterson of Atlanta were arrested for trafficking meth and marijuana, among other charges.

Ewwwww This summer’s “who’s pooping in the pool?” mystery is taking place in the Buckingham Woods neighborhood pool in Macomb Township near Detroit. The serial offender has caused the pool to close several times, and the neighborhood association is taking action—and taking names. “We are reviewing attendance logs and recorded video,” a July 12 statement read, according to the Detroit Free Press. And the Macomb County Health Department is working with the pool to keep the water free of pathogens such as E. coli. Further, the association has hired a pool attendant to be on-site through the end of summer. (UPDATE: On July 18, the association announced the offending swimmer had been identified and banned, saying it is now “looking at the various options for restitution.”)

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From Andrews McMeel Syndication
News Of The Weird 
© 2019 Andrews McMeel

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