Pensacola, Florida
Saturday August 24th 2019


News of the Weird 8/15/19

By the Editors at Andrews McMeel

Chutzpah! Lake Worth, Florida, homeowner Phil Fraumeni emerged from his house on July 19 to find a white Tesla not only parked on his lawn, but tethered to an outlet on his house, charging the car’s battery. Fraumeni told WPBF he waited a couple of hours, then called police. The car was not stolen, and police were able to contact the owner, who showed up around noon and told Fraumeni he had been visiting friends in the neighborhood when the battery died around midnight. Fraumeni declined to press charges (pun intended) and did not ask for reimbursement for the 12 hours of electricity the car used.

T(winning) Keep up with us here: On Aug. 1, identical twin brothers Andy and Chad Baker of Nashville, Tennessee, were on their way to the annual Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio, in their identical blue Tesla Model 3s, when an Ohio state trooper pulled them both over for having identical license plates, reading “SUBJ TO.” The brothers patiently explained to the officer that the plates are, in fact, different: In one, “TO” is spelled with a zero, and in the other, it’s spelled with a capital O. “Nobody likes getting pulled over by police, we were both nervous, but it’s a great story and we will tell it all weekend,” Andy told Fox8.

Going to Extremes Kim Gordon, 55, vanished on Feb. 25, according to his 17-year-old son, after going for a nighttime swim at Monastery Beach in Monterey, California, an area with a deadly reputation sometimes called “Mortuary Beach.” The Associated Press reported that police searched for three days before learning the Scotsman from Edinburgh, also known as Kim Vincent Avis, faced 24 charges of rape in Scotland, which made them suspicious about the story. “When that came up, we start to wonder if this is a hoax,” said Monterey County sheriff’s Capt. John Thornburg. Finally, on July 26, the U.S. Marshals Service announced it had caught up with Gordon in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where he is now being held; the son had been returned to Scotland and will not be charged with filing a false report.

Wait, What? In a product expansion move that inspires one to shout, “Stay in your lane!” Oscar Meyer announced on Aug. 1 that it is entering the dessert category with the Ice Dog Sandwich—an ice cream sandwich with cookie “buns” surrounding bits of candied hot dog meat and spicy mustard ice cream. United Press International reported that the company partnered with a New York ice cream company to create the confectionary treat. BONUS: French’s announced the day before the creation of its own mustard-flavored ice cream together with Coolhaus.

Sticking It to the (Recycling) Man A man in southern Spain who is a serial mocker of recycling efforts was fined 45,000 euros ($50,000) and ordered to retrieve a refrigerator he tossed down a hillside in July. Spain’s Guardia Civil identified the man from a Twitter video he posted of the refrigerator incident with the truck he used, and its license plate, clearly visible behind him, The Local reported. He could also be seen in a different video throwing a washing machine into the ravine in the same area. The truck was registered to a house-clearing company in Almeria, from which the man was promptly fired. In a tit for tat, officers later posted video of the man struggling to bring the refrigerator back up the hill.

Rude Awakening Alice Coleman, 61, of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, hopped out of bed early on Aug. 5 to check on a fire alarm that was blaring outside her apartment. When she opened her door, 34-year-old Fitzroy Morton confronted her, brandishing a “big butcher knife,” Coleman told WSVN. Morton told her, “No, mama. Everything gon’ be all right,” but Coleman set him straight: “Everything’s not going to be all right. I’m not your mama. I don’t know who you are. Get out of my house.” Then she bit him, “… and I didn’t even have my teeth in my mouth like now,” she explained. Coleman ran out of the apartment, where Morton locked himself in, and called police from a neighbor’s apartment. Morton was charged with three felonies, and Coleman is vowing to be more cautious: “I’ll open my door with my Taser because I have one.”

Least Competent Criminals Police in Sydney, Australia, had a drug bust land in their laps on July 22, when an unnamed man slammed a van loaded with 600 pounds of methamphetamines into a patrol car parked outside a suburban police station. The car was empty at the time of the collision, Reuters reported. The van sped away from the scene, but police caught up with the 28-year-old driver an hour later and charged him with drug supply and negligent driving. The drugs had an estimated street value of about $140 million.

•Michael Harrell, 54, strolled into a U.S. Bank in Cleveland on July 29 with a note demanding cash from a teller: “This is a robbery. Don’t get nobody hurt.” Unfortunately, according to WJW, he wrote the note on a document he had apparently received from the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles, which included his full name and address. The teller, who called Harrell by his first name after seeing it on the letter, gave him $206 and summoned police, who later arrested him.