Pensacola, Florida
Saturday June 24th 2017


News of the Weird 6/23/11

By Chuck Sheppard

Giddyup! When a strain of equine herpes led to a temporary quarantine at horse farms in central Utah, the sponsors of the Davis County Mounted Posse Junior Queen contest in May had a dilemma, but instead of canceling the competition in which the cowgirls show their skills on horseback, they decided to conduct the show except with the girls riding stick ponies to get style points. Former queen Savanna Steed told KSL-TV the change would be good because it would better test riders knowledge of the routines instead of their relying on their horses to make the moves.

Latest Religious Messages Unclear on the Concept: Indias Ganges River has become famously polluted, in part by reverent Hindu pilgrims who toss offerings (such as clothing, statues and the cremated ashes of loved ones) into it in hope of prosperous lives and holy afterlives. Hindu immigrants in New York City, without access to the Ganges, have called upon Jamaica Bay as a stand-in. The formerly quiet waters adjacent to JFK International Airport now ebb and flow with similar offerings that ultimately litter the bays federal recreation area shoreline. Hindu community leaders in New York, with only mixed success, constantly urge greater environmental sensitivity.
From time to time, clever rabbis suggest ways of bypassing ancient Talmudic laws that restrict observant Jews behavior on the Sabbath (a day of rest). In April, Rabbi Dror Fixler, an electro-optics expert from Bar-Ilan University in Israel, said he could foresee a day when even driving a car might be permitted on the Sabbath. The driver would wear an encephalography helmet that could catch brain signals and transmit them to a cars operating and steering system, removing the need for action on the drivers part (thus theoretically leaving him at rest).

The Continuing Crisis Mattel revealed that its best-selling fashion doll in the last year, for the age-6-and-up market, has been the teen werewolf Monster High model, Clawdeen Wolf, who comes with heavy makeup, a short skirt and high boots, and who supposedly spends her time waxing, plucking and shaving. (Says Clawdeen, in promotional materials, My hair is worthy of a shampoo commercial, and thats just what grows on my legs.) Though Mattel claims the doll celebrates girls imperfections, a counselor told Fox News she was appalled that the company tells young girls they need to sculpt, tweeze, wax and … change their bodies to attract men.

Cyber Making-Out: Tokyos Kajimoto Laboratory has created a tongue-kissing machine to enable lovers to suck face over the Internet, according to a May CNN report. At separate locations, the pair place special straws in their mouths and mimic a deep kiss, which is recorded and transmitted to each others straws. Researcher Nobuhiro Takahashi sees profit in celebrity tongue-kissing applications, but said more work is needed to establish individual taste, breathing and tongue moistness. (Another team of Japanese researchers, using a harness-type device, reported making similar advancesin Internet hugging, with sensors that mimic lovers heartbeats and even their spines tingling and stomachs butterflies.)

Tacky: (1) The Columbus, Ohio, school board accepted principal Kimberly Jones resignation in May following revelations by The Columbus Dispatch that she, though earning $90,000 a year, swore on federal forms that she made just $25,000so that her own two children would qualify for reduced-price school lunches. (2) Prime Healthcare Services, with a reputation for rescuing financially failing hospitals, reported that two new acquisitions, in Victorville, Calif., and Redding, Calif., somehow curiously experienced rates about 40 and 70 times the state average in patients with a rare Third World Ghanian sickness that, conveniently, qualified the hospitals for enhanced Medicare reimbursements.

Fine Points of the Law In a pre-trial motion in a Chicago court case in May, the defense lawyer for Exotic Motors Inc., which is being sued over car repairs, complained about plaintiffs lawyers unusual decision to permit a female paralegal to sit at their courtroom table, especially since she is a large-breasted woman. Her sole purpose at the table, lamented defense lawyer Thomas Gooch, was to draw the attention of the jury, presumably in favor of the plaintiffs. Gooch later told the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin that he was concerned only with her qualifications to sit at the table.

Questionable Judgments The recent Memorial Day weekend was a time of reflection for the residents of Long Island (N.Y.)s Shelter Island, who were honoring a soldier from the neighborhood who had recently been killed in Afghanistan. The local American Legion placed new, heavy-duty American flags on telephone poles along a parade route, but only afterward was informed that Long Island Power Authority, which owns the poles, is required by state law to charge an unwaivable rental fee for the poles.

Ⅹ Principal Terry Eisenbarth apologized to parents and children at Washington Elementary School in Mount Vernon, Iowa, in May and promised to stop his ritual whammies, in which he summons kids on their birthdays to his office, sings Happy Birthday to them, and ceremonially spanks the childs backside with a cushioned hockey stick (with the number of whacks equaling the childs age).