Pensacola, Florida
Monday May 28th 2018


Winners & Losers 10/27/11

The Winners & Losers contingent of the Independent News media and entertainment empire took to occupying the publisher’s office and refused to pick winners and losers for this week’s issue. Walker Holmes agreed to put off his marathon viewing of “The Rum Diary” to share his notes on a few stories that he has been working on. With Holmes, fact and fiction get blurred – sort of like the fairy tales posted in comment sections on the daily newspaper’s website.

OCCUPY GULF BREEZE COMING The cost of Starbucks’ lattes has gone up. Target and Panera Bread aren’t opening stores in Gulf Breeze. The sidewalks are too narrow for golf carts. How much can a person take? Tents will be going up after the kids’ soccer games and as soon as the yard service can pitch them. Power to the People!

JOB AGENCY GETS NEW DIRECTOR Hiring one friend at a time, Escambia County Commissioner Wilson Robertson has convinced Gov. Rick Scott to name him state director of Workforce Florida. “I have a lot of friends,” said Robertson, “and they all need work.”  As we know, there’s no point in being the head of Workforce Florida if you can’t recommend your friends. Right?

SECOND CMP DUE Under fire for failing to fulfill the Covenant with the Community while having its “soft costs” triple, Community Maritime Park Associates Executive Director Ed Spears and CMPA attorney Ed Fleming announced that the City of Pensacola is obligated to build two parks. The current one will have the promised multi-use stadium and will be built with little minority participation. The second one will be built on the ECUA property across the street, using all the plans that CMPA paid for but never used. The second park will be completed by 2021.

TAR BALLS WASH ON TO BEACH  Pensacola Beach is yet again covered with tar balls. BP spokesperson Emma Ly Ing told the media that the company wasn’t responsible for the mess. Instead, she placed the blame on DeLuna Fest, claiming that the biodegradable confetti drew the tar balls off the ocean floor to the beach. Santa Rosa Island Authority fined DeLuna Fest $1 million, claiming that the confetti hurt the winter beach-bum business.

BLENDING IMPROVES SCORES Superintendent of Schools Malcolm Thomas won praise from former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush for his blending initiative that closed public schools in poor neighborhoods and moved those students that were failing the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test to mega-schools with better testing peers. What was once derided as busing is now acceptable, especially since it involves minority students having to take the longer bus rides.