Pensacola, Florida
Monday October 20th 2014

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Winners & Losers 3/22/12

Inspired by the 84th Oscar Annual Academy Awards, the Winners & Losers faction of the Independent News media and entertainment empire has been working on its own screenplays. This is what they’ve written, so far.

Ashton Hayward Vampire Hunter
Ashton Hayward, the first strong mayor of Pensacola, discovers vampires are planning to take over Northwest Florida. He makes it his mission to eliminate them. His early attempts to land a marine hatchery fail with vampires secretly attack the scientists. He vows to not let them undo his initiative to have natural gas school buses.

Hungry Games
Each elementary school in Escambia County must send two students to compete in the annual Hungry Games. The children, ages 4 to 12, compete for gelatin-free hamburgers. Can Omisha and Khalil from A.A. Dixon Charter School of Excellence break the 10-year win streak of Cordova Park and A.K. Suter?

Journey to Mystery Isle
Placed in the year 2135, intrepid explorer Grover Robinson XI traces a mysterious distress signal to the remote Santa Rosa Island that no longer is on any map, and he embarks on a daring mission to find the recipe to the original Bushwhackers.

Red Tails
This documentary chronicles the Rick Santorum School of Discipline’s fight to institute caning as part of its behavioral modification program after the courts reject stoning.

John Carter of Perdido Key
Iraq War vet John Carter is transplanted to Perdido Key, where he discovers an island of concrete pads, abandoned strip centers, towering condominiums and trailers posing as beach homes. Its main inhabitants are 200-pound beach mice. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes and encounters Sue Ann Becky Thompson, Princess of Orange, who is in desperate need of a ride back to south Alabama.

Men In Black, Reboot
A group of African-American ministers bands together to tackle racism and discrimination in the 21st century. Their foes are difficult to spot since they no longer wear white hoods.

Revengers
With the rising number of progressive thinkers and successful businesses threatening the status quo, Save Our City regroups and forms a team of “superheroes” that embodies the best of the naysayers. Their mission is to win back the Pensacola City Council in 2012.

Bleach
The sequel to the hit movie “Tats” follows three University of South Alabama coeds as they spend a four-day weekend on Pensacola Beach creating their personal pub crawl that starts with “Sex on the Beach” and ends with “Irish Car Bombs.” Spoiler alert: They aren’t really blondes.